Kristi Tanner on Healing from Divorce, Postpartum Depression and Addiction to Thriving as a Single Mom of Four, Sobriety Advocate and Entrepreneur

Jane (00:01.622)
Kristy, hello, thank you so much for joining me today.

Kristi Tanner (00:06.024)
there. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited.

Jane (00:09.386)
Yes, I'm so excited to meet you and get to talk with you face to face. I've seen you on Instagram, Mocktail Mommy, and I just love what you're doing in the sober space.

Kristi Tanner (00:21.858)
thank you so much. It has been such such a journey. Not one that was super planned out ahead of time. That's sort of not my MO.

Jane (00:31.078)
Yeah, some spontaneity.

Kristi Tanner (00:33.864)
Yes, for sure. I'm an Enneagram seven, you know, I just like want to have all the fun and no planning.

Jane (00:40.636)
Yes, you don't want to be trapped down by planning. No, that's awesome. So you're into the Enneagram. I'm an Enneagram five. I go to seven in times of stress.

Kristi Tanner (00:43.86)
No.

Kristi Tanner (00:50.79)
Okay, yep, I go to, I think I go to a three in times of stress. Is that like the perfectionist?

Jane (00:55.668)
Okay.

It's the one that's very driven and they almost have chameleon -like qualities. They can get along with anyone in every situation.

Kristi Tanner (01:09.082)
Yeah, I can't remember. Anyway, I get aggressive. Let's just, you know, I get angry and then like,

Jane (01:13.674)
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Your passion comes out.

Kristi Tanner (01:19.498)
100 % very passionate.

Jane (01:21.852)
Yeah. Well, tell me a little bit about your alcohol -free journey and what that looked like for you.

Kristi Tanner (01:30.708)
Sure. You know, it's hard to say sort of when it really started. I don't think I ever drank normally. I...

Jane (01:43.702)
Mm

Kristi Tanner (01:45.77)
I for a long time I convinced myself I did because it looked socially acceptable and my friends were doing it too. But the reality is, I never had one drink. I never had two drinks. I wanted seven drinks. I wanted 10 drinks. I...

Jane (01:59.542)
Yeah.

Jane (02:05.652)
You wanted to lose count.

Kristi Tanner (02:07.944)
For sure. The goal I thought was sort of to like have this out of body experience this I am going to take a vacation from all this emotional stuff going on inside of me. And I know how to get there with alcohol. And

Jane (02:14.614)
Mm -hmm.

Jane (02:26.153)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (02:28.628)
For a long time, alcohol was a social lubricant. It was something I thought was very sophisticated. I thought it was glamorous. I thought successful people drink because they have all their other things taken care of and they're just sitting there with their glass of wine. I'm like, I want to be that person. That is my goal. But.

Jane (02:47.838)
Yeah. Yeah. The picture of sophistication and leisure and kind of success and you've made it.

Kristi Tanner (02:58.054)
Absolutely. mean, who does not want to go sit around somewhere cute with a cute glass with their cute friends and have an amazing time? Like, I definitely want that. But what ended up happening most of the time is I would go to connect with my friends and I would drink so much that I became disconnected from not just them, but also myself. And

Jane (03:06.399)
Yes.

Jane (03:10.174)
Right.

Jane (03:22.922)
Yes, I think that is the irony with alcohol is that most people drink it because we feel connected when we drink, but then it absolutely leads to more disconnection with other people. And you're right, ourselves.

Kristi Tanner (03:42.41)
Mm -hmm. I mean, the biggest sort of, I don't have a lot of regrets, I would say I really don't, but the decisions that I've made that I wish I would not have, always, 100 % of the time, involved alcohol.

Jane (04:01.258)
Yeah. Yeah.

So growing up for you, was it part of kind of like the culture where you grew up with parents and...

Kristi Tanner (04:13.875)
Yeah.

very lovely, normal childhood. I lived in South Carolina, Minnesota and Kansas. Yes. And my parents, you know, are pretty regular drinkers, they can have a glass of wine, and then they can stop. But it was definitely

Jane (04:23.508)
wow, so you moved around.

Jane (04:39.572)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (04:42.858)
a part of their life, our life growing up. It seemed like the way that my parents entertained. We had a lot of parties at the house and they all had bartenders. And, you know, I thought when I was seven, it was so cute that I could take the coats at the door. I thought it was just the best. And I look at my parents who have been now married for 45 years.

Jane (05:06.28)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (05:12.09)
and they love each other and they would sit outside and listen to jazz music on the porch and have a glass of red wine. And I'm like, that's what I want. I want that too. So it was definitely around, but it was not a problematic part of my life. It was very much situational.

Jane (05:24.021)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (05:39.546)
holidays, stuff like that. And I didn't really think about my relationship or their relationship with alcohol until I was probably a little past college. And I realized that we sort of used alcohol to connect then, right? It's like, mm hmm, right?

Jane (05:41.76)
Yeah.

Jane (05:59.36)
Like you and your parents. Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (06:03.134)
Then it's like, well, let's go out and have some wine and then we'll talk. And then it's like, well, then my dad might talk more than he normally used to if he wasn't drinking wine. Right. So, then it's like, I like I feel exactly. It's like we're connecting so well. We're talking about things we never have before. And I think it just becomes this really slippery slope of where, where is that cutoff?

Jane (06:12.126)
Yes, it loosens everyone up.

Jane (06:25.194)
Mm -hmm.

Kristi Tanner (06:29.928)
And I think it's absolutely different for everyone where it's no longer, I've had a glass of wine and it's not super affecting my brain, but I know that it's in my body, right? Like I didn't have that. If I had alcohol, I became, I started becoming a different person immediately.

Jane (06:33.385)
Right.

Jane (06:49.184)
Yeah, personality change in a way. And even if the only negative consequence of drinking with your parents as a young adult is that it's a crutch, that's still kind of a negative consequence, you know?

Kristi Tanner (06:52.138)
100%.

Kristi Tanner (07:04.884)
for sure, you know? And then, yeah, it became an issue when I got sober in our family.

Jane (07:13.526)
Okay.

Kristi Tanner (07:17.019)
it really caused everyone to be like, shoot, how do we connect if there's no alcohol? And when I first got sober, I was like, I want everyone to just do you. This is my problem. I don't want you to talk about it. I don't want you to do. I don't want you to even acknowledge it. Like, I'm just gonna

Jane (07:24.181)
Yeah.

Jane (07:37.908)
Yeah, don't change any of your behavior. Just carry on.

Kristi Tanner (07:42.078)
just let me do me. But the reality was, it was really difficult to watch my parents drink in front of me. And it did make me really resentful. And for two years, I didn't say anything. I felt like my sobriety was something I had to apologize for for a long time.

Jane (07:44.917)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (08:10.73)
that I was being an inconvenience, that I was trying to have special attention, all these sort of like negative thought patterns.

Jane (08:24.724)
Yes, which I think is so indicative of our cultural attitudes around alcohol that it is a given and that there's a normal healthy way to drink and that if you can't do that, then you have the problem and you shouldn't take away anyone else's fun and being able to partake in that when really, when you think about it, why do we need it to have fun? Like.

Kristi Tanner (08:30.75)
Mm -hmm.

Jane (08:50.014)
It's possible to have fun without it. We're just so conditioned that it's necessary that we haven't learned how to do that.

Kristi Tanner (08:56.97)
100%. And it's so possible, but it is really uncomfortable to sink into authenticity and awareness at all times.

Jane (09:02.664)
It's really uncomfortable.

Jane (09:12.946)
and have a hard conversation with your parents when you're sober, when normally the more difficult conversations or the more deep conversations had alcohol involved.

Kristi Tanner (09:19.423)
drinking.

100 million percent So it yeah, it was hard. It was really hard for us. We I was also going through a divorce at the same time my whole life was kind of a disaster at the same time and I really pushed Everyone away. I was angry. I felt alone. I felt unsupported. It was the pandemic. I Couldn't be connected to people

Jane (09:36.352)
Yeah.

Jane (09:48.251)
my gosh.

Kristi Tanner (09:51.674)
AA had just shut down, which had been my once or twice a day solution to my crazy brain.

Jane (09:59.986)
my gosh, was it virtual or were they figuring that out? Okay.

Kristi Tanner (10:03.636)
They were still figuring that out. I had four kids under the age of six when we separated. And I went.

Jane (10:16.516)
So you have, do you have three boys and a girl or all boys? Okay.

Kristi Tanner (10:19.912)
Yep, three boys, my youngest is a girl. just started kindergarten. So I'm officially like out of stay at home mom mode.

Jane (10:23.974)
Aww.

Jane (10:28.664)
my gosh, my youngest just started kinder too and she's a little girl.

Kristi Tanner (10:31.462)
It's so fun. my god. It's so fun. She's so cute. Just loves the school bus more than anything.

Jane (10:36.008)
Yes, adorable. that is so precious.

Kristi Tanner (10:43.118)
Yeah, so

Jane (10:44.424)
So you had four kids under the age of six, and I'm guessing your fourth was a baby at that point.

Kristi Tanner (10:51.026)
Yes. So I don't know if you want me to back up a little bit. Is that okay?

Jane (10:55.1)
Yeah, yeah, this, that would be great. Let's circle back and kind of tell us how it all unfolded.

Kristi Tanner (11:01.61)
Sure. So after college, I continued drinking, and I probably drank the same amount, but I drank different things. So I thought that was fine. Now I'm drinking fancy red wine instead of vodka soda.

Jane (11:15.967)
Yeah.

Yes, cheap vodka.

Kristi Tanner (11:22.25)
100%. So I'm like, this is, look at me. Like I got it all figured out. I drink very heavily Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, fun day, every week. We lived in Chicago. There was tons of restaurants. It was just the two of us. We didn't have kids. I mean, all we did was like go out to eat and drink wine. And

Jane (11:34.623)
Yeah.

Jane (11:44.5)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (11:51.358)
That was fine. And then I got pregnant and I had my first son. And right after he was born, I mean, I brought champagne to the hospital. I didn't even think twice about it. I was like, my God, I've been waiting nine months. I can't wait. This is wonderful.

Jane (12:04.37)
Yes. What better way to celebrate? Pop open a bottle of bubbly.

Kristi Tanner (12:11.218)
like the cutest classiest thing you can ever do. I just thought I was just brilliant for bringing mimosas.

Jane (12:17.321)
Yeah.

Jane (12:21.234)
Yeah, I have a similar story. One of my best friends brought me a bottle of tequila and like margarita mix and like a beautiful mommy juice glass to the hospital, like in the delivery room. I didn't actually drink it, but that was her gift to me in the delivery room. Mommy wine culture.

Kristi Tanner (12:33.714)
Yes? Yes!

Kristi Tanner (12:40.212)
mean, that just shows what society thinks about alcohol. If you've done something hard, if you've got something to celebrate, if you're happy, if you're sad, we've got something for you. But what they don't tell you is it's gonna make your...

Jane (12:48.874)
Yes, and how we celebrate.

Jane (13:03.103)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (13:06.128)
all your stuff, it's going to be there tomorrow.

Jane (13:10.186)
Yeah, and like, can you imagine like a new mom that is the absolute worst thing you could do? Like you want your milk to come in, you don't wanna feel depressed, you don't wanna feel anxious, you don't wanna interrupt your sleep at all, that little tiny bit of sleep you're going to get. Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (13:27.208)
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty wild.

Jane (13:31.112)
Yeah, okay, so first baby champagne in the hospital.

Kristi Tanner (13:34.89)
Yep, and then I continued working. I was working for an executive downtown Chicago. I went back to work. I got pregnant again and very quickly after that. And so I had two kids under 18 months. And when that happened, you know, we decided that I would stay home with the kids and...

Jane (13:51.244)
god.

Jane (13:57.417)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (14:00.444)
I didn't realize quite how much of my life would change when I went from being a young professional who had lots of contact with lots of adults and using my brain and thinking and working and being really involved in a lot of aspects of society.

Jane (14:20.308)
Yeah, contributing and being valued and all those things feel good.

Kristi Tanner (14:24.362)
Yes. And then I went all of sudden to being this stay at home mom of two boys under 18 months. And we had just moved to a new little house in downtown Chicago. And I didn't know where to find mom friends in downtown Chicago. You know, so

Jane (14:45.706)
There probably aren't tons of moms living there. Or it's harder in the suburbs.

Kristi Tanner (14:50.12)
Right, well it's it's much more difficult. Like vertical living is not ideal when you have baby carriers, car seats, diapers, wipes, all this stuff.

Jane (15:00.616)
Yeah. Right, it's hard enough with a dog.

Kristi Tanner (15:05.502)
For sure. So, I was pretty depressed looking back that I was home. I wanted to be home, but I needed more support in the way of any sort of connection to adults. And my husband at the time traveled a ton.

Jane (15:27.136)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (15:33.122)
and worked really late and did a lot of entertaining and he, his life with kids did not change significantly. My life with kids got completely turned upside down in a beautiful way, some, like some of the things you could never possibly prepare for what

Jane (15:52.83)
Yeah, drastic change.

Kristi Tanner (16:02.346)
what the things will be that will be hard. How would you know? So I'm home with these kids. We end up moving from downtown to the suburbs and I get pregnant again. And now I am going to have three boys under three and a half. And I get diagnosed at 21 weeks in utero that my son is going to be born with a birth defect.

Jane (16:04.917)
Mm -hmm.

Kristi Tanner (16:30.588)
a unilateral cleft lip and palette and it

Jane (16:30.602)
Hey.

Kristi Tanner (16:42.282)
changed the way I felt about myself.

Jane (16:47.318)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (16:50.671)
And...

Kristi Tanner (16:55.13)
I felt guilty for like doing something wrong. I was worried that I would not be able to be a good mom. I was so scared. I was so scared to have three little boys under three and a half and feel isolated in this new suburb with no support.

and a busy husband and one that I wasn't getting along with very well. And when my youngest son was born, thank God he's beautiful, right? Like he's got 10 fingers and 10 toes.

Jane (17:27.294)
who wasn't very present.

Kristi Tanner (17:39.242)
And, but it was hard, right? Like there was 40 people in the delivery room. They didn't know what to expect. They had a lot of concerns. That's right. Like what do we need right away? And nobody really knew.

Jane (17:42.708)
Yeah.

Jane (17:50.142)
and you're thinking like, we going to have surgeries? we?

Jane (17:59.083)
Well, and I think we forget that moms, when something like that is diagnosed or when there's a pregnancy loss or we often think, what did I do wrong? I must have caused this or my body failed me or it's my fault. Yeah, and it's not, but our brains go there.

Kristi Tanner (18:15.978)
Yep. 100%.

Kristi Tanner (18:23.37)
The doctors told me, right? You cannot cause this birth defect. It's randomly occurring in one in 700 live births. And if you have it passed down, you have a higher chance of having it. It's not something you cause, but it's still in some way made me feel less than. And when he was born,

Kristi Tanner (18:57.488)
I went back to drinking. It was so bad, so fast. I looked forward to the alcohol every day. And I, since I couldn't breastfeed, I would pump because I had to, but a lot of times I would just pump and dump.

Jane (19:20.094)
Yeah.

Jane (19:25.558)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (19:27.188)
I'm like, well, whatever. But I'll just dump this batch. I mean, the things that I'm looking back now, I'm like, liquid gold, what are you doing?

Jane (19:31.571)
Yeah.

Jane (19:36.747)
Like liquid gold or the ability to drink. I'll take the left.

Kristi Tanner (19:39.626)
Yes. And yeah, but I was scared, sad alone, worried about how to raise him how to like, I mean, taking three young boys to multiple special needs doctors appointments is a disaster. And then you're driving from the suburbs to the city to do it. And then you're paying 80 bucks in parking and then you're driving the stroller six blocks to get there. I mean, it just was not

Jane (19:46.877)
Yes.

Jane (20:02.601)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (20:09.724)
Easy. It was not easy.

Jane (20:10.528)
Just the physical toll on your body of loading up three boys and unloading strollers and figuring out how to get all three of them in there and without someone running into the street or, and then somebody has a dirty diaper or you forgot the sippy cup or the bottle or.

Kristi Tanner (20:28.342)
It was a lot. It was a lot. so Hudson had a lip repair at nine weeks old. And then he had a palate repair. So like the roof of his mouth at nine months old. And both of those surgery recoveries were quite difficult. About a month of arm restraints. So his arms couldn't

Jane (20:44.384)
Okay.

Jane (20:55.921)
my gosh.

Kristi Tanner (20:57.182)
We couldn't touch his face, so like...

Jane (21:01.23)
UGH

Kristi Tanner (21:01.482)
It was, and then I had to rub right here for 30 minutes a day so that it didn't cause scar tissue, which of course he hated. What baby wants you to, why are you touching, why are you doing that mom? He hated it. It was so hard to do the things that were good for my children that felt bad to actually be doing.

Jane (21:11.452)
Yes.

Jane (21:16.766)
Yes.

Jane (21:21.588)
required.

Jane (21:26.47)
and just the fact that he's a baby so you can't explain to him, I'm not just doing this to irritate you or to hurt you, like, we have to do this.

Kristi Tanner (21:36.094)
Right, I mean, even my three and a half year old watching, it's like, what does he think about what I'm doing? No, it just like had all these anyway. after his second surgery,

Jane (21:41.885)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (21:58.088)
I'm trying not, there's some of my story I just like can't really tell. So let me think. Yes.

Jane (22:01.983)
Yeah.

Jane (22:05.664)
complicated parts.

Kristi Tanner (22:11.974)
We ended up moving to Madison from Chicago right after Hudson was born about a year later. And right before we were getting ready to move, my drinking was at like an all time high. I had all these little boys, I had no help, and I really didn't have friends. I had acquaintances.

Jane (22:22.87)
Okay.

Jane (22:37.842)
Yeah. And no family around.

Kristi Tanner (22:41.706)
No, my parents lived in Florida. So and yeah, so it's like it was just really isolating. And every time that I would get together with this like group of friends that I had, I would get blacked out. 100 I just black out immediately. And I become a liability rather than this fun, you know, inspiring, connected, funny version of myself, I become

Jane (22:50.193)
You are isolated.

Kristi Tanner (23:12.176)
sloppy crying passing out slurring my words it's so unattractive but

Jane (23:22.032)
And just like the terror of waking up and not remembering exactly what happened and what did I say and.

Kristi Tanner (23:30.74)
The shame hangover is one of the most debilitating feelings on the planet. Just being like, no, I don't know what I did or said, but I know that I did something wrong. I know that I hurt somebody's feelings. I know that I can't remember how I got home.

Jane (23:38.388)
Yeah.

Jane (23:49.055)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (23:58.762)
I know that I opened more alcohol when I got home. I left a mess in the kitchen. I threw up in the bathroom. These were all very real parts of my normal drinking career. I thought throwing up in the bathroom and cleaning it up the next day was like, And I...

Jane (24:22.901)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (24:25.322)
told myself it was fine because people are like, Christy, I can't even imagine having that many kids and they're so little and you totally deserve a drink. my God, I understand why you're drinking. Nobody said, do you think you should drink less? Do you think you should find support? Do you want to up? Yeah, so.

Jane (24:33.706)
Yeah, you just have to survive.

Jane (24:45.768)
or

Yeah, how can I support you through this?

Kristi Tanner (24:55.09)
It got really bad. I had an incident at a party. I ended up passing out on the median of a street and ended up in this. I ended up in the psych ward for eight days and my husband came to see me and was like, you can't come home. I was like, what? And he's like, no, like Christie. You can't come home right now.

Jane (25:03.786)
You're a fine.

Kristi Tanner (25:24.874)
And I was like, fine, that's fine. I'll go to rehab. Yeah. so I picked the fanciest rehab out in California. I was like, this is so great. We'll go like, Chris back writing. I'll get a massage. We'll probably come back and get with the tan. Like I thought, you know, and basically I thought it was mom vacation. I emailed probably 40 women from rehab.

Jane (25:41.354)
Yeah, it's a vacation.

Kristi Tanner (25:54.024)
Dear everyone, this is Christy. I'm in rehab, but don't worry. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm just having a mom vacation, very overwhelmed with all the children, gonna get all good. Don't worry, love you. Right? Like I was in such deep denial, but I had no idea. And also my drink of choice at that time and always and forever.

was champagne. And so when I got to rehab and people are like, well, what do you drink it or what's your thing or whatever. And I'm like champagne. They're like, ha!

Jane (26:32.214)
They're like, who is this lady?

Kristi Tanner (26:32.842)
That's not nobody's addicted to champagne and I'm like, my god Yeah, I for sure shouldn't be here. this is okay. I'll just do my papers and I like get an A plus on my homework and

Jane (26:37.311)
Yeah.

You're like, I'm really not an alcoholic.

Jane (26:45.056)
Yeah.

Jane (26:51.702)
That's hilarious, they're like, you're not hardcore enough.

Kristi Tanner (26:54.762)
100%. I was not accepted by the rehab patients because they were like, you got no issues. And I didn't believe the therapist because I didn't have these issues yet.

Jane (27:03.744)
Yeah.

Jane (27:13.8)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (27:16.458)
so I go to this rehab, I do it for 30 days. I stay sober for another 32 days and then the Steelers played. And so I had beer and once I have one beer, it's off to the races again, but I was positive. I was going to drink moderately. I did not drink moderately. We moved across, from Illinois to Wisconsin. And two weeks after we moved, I totaled my car.

with my four year old son in the back.

Jane (27:49.878)
you

Kristi Tanner (27:52.174)
I was not drinking, but I had been drinking the night before and I was so hungover.

Kristi Tanner (28:09.0)
You know, I don't know if there was still like alcohol in my blood, but it doesn't matter. That's why I had an accident is because I had because I had been drinking. So I totaled my car. We have just moved here. People are like, what is happening? So,

Jane (28:17.332)
Yeah, because you just, you were in the hangover haze.

Jane (28:23.872)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (28:32.419)
It's not a great first impression. And what I thought was going to happen is we were going to move and I was going to get to be somebody else. I get to be, nobody knows that I've been to rehab. Nobody knows that I had a drinking problem, quote unquote, right? I'm going to be normal here.

Jane (28:41.832)
Yeah.

Jane (28:49.674)
Yeah, start fresh.

Kristi Tanner (28:51.882)
So we get here and then in February, I get pregnant. Unplanned, we're not getting along. We've just moved. We have three boys under four.

Jane (29:01.243)
my gosh.

Kristi Tanner (29:08.463)
and that was... I mean I was elated and also worried.

Jane (29:18.58)
Yeah, like a little bit of panic of like, am I going to do this?

Kristi Tanner (29:23.891)
Yes, yes, I'm already drowning. So here's a mom drowning with three babies. Let's throw her another one and see if she really sinks.

Jane (29:27.304)
Yes.

Jane (29:35.278)
You're like, what's happening here?

Kristi Tanner (29:38.25)
So, yeah, I got pregnant, my pregnancy with her, I had just gone on a yoga retreat to Bocos del Toro, Panama, and this was in 2018, and that's when Zika was the thing. So then when I come home and find out that I'm pregnant, then I have this Zika scare, like, is she gonna be normal? do I need to? It was just like so much.

Jane (29:49.995)
Wow.

Jane (29:56.846)
yeah.

Jane (30:08.062)
And how random is that that you had to have you like went on this yoga retreat and then Zeke is a thing all of a sudden and.

Kristi Tanner (30:08.072)
So during my...

Kristi Tanner (30:15.708)
I can't. My luck is wonderful.

Jane (30:18.415)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (30:20.719)
so yeah, so I,

Kristi Tanner (30:28.436)
During my pregnancy with her, I thought about drinking all the time. It felt like punishment that I did not get to participate.

Jane (30:42.666)
Yeah, like deprivation and you're in timeout or something.

Kristi Tanner (30:46.41)
100%. I hated it. was, I was grouchy and tired and I wanted to relax just like everyone else. So during my pregnancy, some stuff happened and regarding my marriage and it just was incredibly difficult.

Jane (30:59.818)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (31:16.206)
And when I found this thing out, I drank at seven months pregnant. I did. am. There was no. I locked myself in the basement in our guest bedroom with a bottle of wine at seven months pregnant. like, how am I going to do this? Any of this? And.

Jane (31:25.098)
You just felt like you couldn't cope. There was no other option.

Kristi Tanner (31:45.906)
You know, I should have asked for help. I should have told somebody how awful I felt, how alone, how scared. And I didn't. I just kept staying quiet. And when I had my daughter,

A few months later, I was at a party 36 hours later with four children under five and a half with a newborn in one hand and a huge glass of champagne in the other. My husband was not there. It was Halloween. And people are like, did you just have that baby? I was like, yeah, 36 hours yesterday. And I got hammered. I got hammered.

Jane (32:25.511)
you

Kristi Tanner (32:34.236)
in front of this whole neighborhood that I don't know at all with four small children by myself. Not a great person.

Jane (32:46.622)
I mean, how were you even up walking around, you know?

Kristi Tanner (32:51.558)
All I wanted to do was escape everything. And that worked every time.

Jane (32:56.404)
Yeah, you needed to not feel pain, you know, you an escape.

Kristi Tanner (33:04.36)
Yeah. And it went from.

I'm gonna pretend like I'm a normal drinker, which I did for a long time, right? The lying, the hiding, I did all of it for years. But after I had my daughter, it was like, I don't even care. I actually don't care anymore, right? I didn't care. And I just wanted to drink all the time.

Jane (33:17.855)
Yeah.

Jane (33:24.799)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (33:35.122)
I thought I deserved it. I thought I needed it. And by the end I did. I was physically addicted to alcohol. I could not sign my name without my hand shaking. I could not put on eyeliner. I mean, there are so many scary things to look back at and say, wow, I can't believe that didn't make me stop, but it didn't. So

Jane (34:01.778)
Yeah. And I think that once you get, it's like this slippery slope and you get further into it and you just really can't see it, you know, like denial is a real thing. It's like you cannot see it.

Kristi Tanner (34:15.828)
For sure. So I got diagnosed with postpartum depression. They put me on medicine and I was like, why isn't this working? So weird. Well, maybe it's because you're drinking two bottles of champagne every night.

Jane (34:31.102)
Yeah, you're ingesting a depressant.

Kristi Tanner (34:34.674)
It was so bad. So I got served separation papers in May. My daughter was six months old. My oldest was not, no wait, he had just turned six. So six, four, two and half and six months old. And we had just moved. So I had no friends here because I made, mm -hmm.

Jane (34:51.232)
Okay.

Jane (34:55.486)
Ow.

Jane (35:00.116)
You're in this new city.

Kristi Tanner (35:03.914)
And I did not drink that when he served me papers, I did not drink for 37 days. And I thought, well, if I can stay sober through this 37 days, I must be cured. This is the hardest thing I've been through so far. Like my whole life is changing. I didn't ask for this. Although I wasn't happy, I wasn't willing to look at

Jane (35:19.048)
I can social drink or moderate.

Kristi Tanner (35:32.112)
that as an option because I didn't believe that I could stay sober, raise four children, take care of a home. I didn't trust myself to do those things and I felt like I would rather be miserable and married than fail at being a mom on my own.

Jane (35:51.742)
Yeah, I mean, it probably felt like you had to stay for your kids. Because how would you have done it alone?

Kristi Tanner (35:59.496)
did. I couldn't fathom. I could not fathom this many small kids who are absolutely incredible. And also so much work. It's so much work. And I just I

Jane (36:14.196)
So much work.

Kristi Tanner (36:22.6)
I couldn't figure it out. So I drank again and that drink led to the most destructive six weeks of drinking in my career. I drank all day every day. I did not care. I drove under the influence with my children. I lied to people right to their faces. Are you drinking? Absolutely not.

Fuck you. That's the kind of person I was at the end of my addiction. That's somebody I'm really, it makes me really sad that I was her and that she treated people that way.

Jane (36:55.85)
Yeah. Yeah.

Jane (37:11.872)
But she was, I think to some degree we have to believe that people are doing the best they can with the resources that they have at that moment. And your intention was not to cause pain and hurt others, it was to survive the only way that you knew how in that moment.

Kristi Tanner (37:22.174)
Mm

Kristi Tanner (37:32.328)
Yeah, and I struggled hard right before, three days before I got served my separation papers. I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation.

Kristi Tanner (37:54.43)
I was not in a good place.

Jane (37:56.244)
Yeah, I mean at that point, your self -worth was probably at zero.

Kristi Tanner (38:04.522)
I felt disposable and worthless and I couldn't do it right and I was never caught up and all the things. yeah, so I had this drink after staying sober and that led to the week of July 2nd, I got two DUIs in the same 72 hour period.

I went to jail in Madison for a couple hours and then got out the next day. And then I went to jail in Gary, Indiana for about 36 hours in a high security prison on the fifth floor, handcuffed to the wall.

Jane (38:49.846)
My gosh, that must have been terrifying.

Kristi Tanner (39:00.194)
I thought I may never get out. Who would come get me?

Who even wants me?

Kristi Tanner (39:16.466)
It was so hard, but in that moment, like I'm in this cell with eight women who are very sick people. There's a lot of really sick people that are locked up for a long time. And I was like praying and I'm like, God, if I ever, if I ever get out of here, I swear I'm going to get sober.

I'm gonna do whatever it takes. Because I hate myself right now. I hate what I've done to my life. I hate what I've done to my kids. I hate what I've done to all the people who used to love me. And my parents bailed me out of jail. They had to drive five hours to come get their 34 year old daughter out of... I can't.

And on the way back, I, sitting in my shame in the back of the car with my parents, I called rehabs. And this was a totally different experience than the first time I went because the first time I went, someone told me, you're going to rehab because you can't come here.

Jane (40:36.46)
Yeah, you had like an ultimatum.

Kristi Tanner (40:39.678)
And the second time I went to rehab, I went because I knew I needed it. And I was terrified. And I knew that this was probably the only other option. I had already been to institutions and to jail. And there's one other stop below that. And I didn't want to go there.

Jane (40:46.454)
Yeah, he wanted it.

Jane (41:03.166)
Yeah. Yeah, you realized I want to live.

Kristi Tanner (41:08.898)
I do, I did, I always have, I've always had this huge love for life and I lost it all because I thought alcohol was fun and then when it wasn't fun I thought I needed it and then when I didn't think I needed it I was physically addicted to it even though I didn't want it.

Jane (41:30.196)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (41:32.756)
So I went to rehab for two months. We hired a full -time nanny for my kids. She took them up to see me about three or four times. I got to see my kids at rehab for an hour and it just, I needed that. They're so little. They were so confused. She was six months old. know, like you don't ever get that back.

Jane (41:48.95)
Because that's a long time to be separated from your babies.

Kristi Tanner (42:02.634)
But I knew that like if I did not make a sacrifice right now for that really special time with her as a baby, I would not get to watch her grow up.

Jane (42:16.148)
Yeah, yeah, you had to. And it was the best thing you could have done for her or you.

Kristi Tanner (42:23.946)
Truly. Yeah, so I went to rehab. About halfway through my rehab stay, I think I stopped living in sort of like this pink cloud of like how I thought.

my life could be after all of this, right? Like I thought I'm gonna fix my marriage because once I do that, then everything else will be fine. And after some couples therapy, it was pretty clear that that was not gonna be a thing.

Jane (42:59.606)
Okay, so he came up to the rehab and did some sessions.

Kristi Tanner (43:04.09)
he did I think two or three sessions and after one specific one it was terrible. My therapist had me do

an exercise and he said, you know, I want you to write a letter to your daughter about what you dream for her partner to be, how he will treat her, what kind of, you know, attributes he has, all these things. So I write my daughter a beautiful letter about what I dream for her future. And then he's like, that is so beautiful. Now I need you to change where it says dear Sloan.

Cross that out and it says Dear Kristy and I need you to tell me of your dreams for your daughter.

Kristi Tanner (44:01.736)
what pieces of those your marriage have.

Kristi Tanner (44:08.892)
and they didn't have them.

Kristi Tanner (44:17.746)
And I didn't want that to be the answer. But I could no longer deny that that was a big reason I was drinking. We weren't happy. I wasn't happy. And you never want a

Kristi Tanner (44:43.526)
Nobody ever wants to get divorced. I couldn't have even fathomed it, you know, but Once I was in rehab and we did this experiment. I mean our relationship was a disaster before this and This made it even harder, you know, I mean So I I got out of rehab I

Jane (44:48.597)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (45:05.02)
moved back into our home for about a week and then I moved out to an apartment and I said I just don't think that I can recover where I was so incredibly sick. I felt like the walls of my marital home were telling me stories and my hiding spots and I found alcohol, you know what I mean, that I hadn't already found in drinks.

Jane (45:18.517)
Yeah.

Jane (45:31.442)
you didn't remember that you hidden there.

Kristi Tanner (45:34.258)
And it's like, I can't, I can't do this. So I moved out and six months later I got my own home. And the day after that, the pandemic hit.

Jane (45:37.792)
Yeah.

Jane (45:46.556)
my gosh.

Kristi Tanner (45:49.522)
I was nine months sober in a brand new house with four kids under seven and then they went to virtual school.

Jane (45:50.006)
you

Jane (45:56.972)
my gosh.

Kristi Tanner (46:02.202)
It was so much.

Jane (46:05.482)
Did you panic or what did you do?

Kristi Tanner (46:08.522)
I cried myself to sleep every day for 18 months and I am not joking. Balled myself to sleep.

Jane (46:14.987)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (46:24.392)
The only good thing was I couldn't go get alcohol, right? I know you could get it delivered, like triggering things for me were driving past liquor stores, driving past my favorite place for happy hour, not even thinking about it, shopping at Target and going to the checkout line and be like, this appears to be champagne. I don't do that anymore, right?

Jane (46:35.198)
Yeah.

Jane (46:47.334)
Yeah, it's like autopilot.

Kristi Tanner (46:51.018)
It's 100%. It's like, what do I get for the weekend? Here's all the things I need. So, I mean, life stopped and changed in every way. And my ex -husband and I got divorced two years later, but like after the pandemic hit, like we haven't spoken since.

Jane (47:15.606)
since that separation and the pandemic hit. Do you speak to like co -parent and go through logistics or okay? So complete and total non -contact.

Kristi Tanner (47:29.802)
We use something, a court ordered email application. That's the only way he will communicate with me. So it has been incredibly difficult to navigate co -parenting via email only.

Jane (47:34.377)
Okay.

Jane (47:38.985)
Okay.

Jane (47:44.5)
I mean, yeah.

Jane (47:50.196)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (47:52.282)
And you know, there are so many things I didn't get to say conversations we never had. I imagine I was the worst version of myself with him. And I imagine that's probably what he remembers. And if he is holding on to who I was at the end of my addiction, I understand.

Jane (48:17.792)
Yeah, like you don't want to talk to that person either.

Kristi Tanner (48:21.072)
I wouldn't either.

Jane (48:23.304)
you

Kristi Tanner (48:25.448)
But I can confidently say with a zillion percent confidence that I'm not that person anymore. She's long gone. And I'm grateful to her for staying, for trying again and again, and for...

Jane (48:33.588)
No, she's gone.

Jane (48:45.424)
for fighting.

Kristi Tanner (48:50.088)
doing it the best she could, even though it wasn't good, even though it was bad, even though she made so many mistakes.

Jane (48:57.906)
It was messy and chaotic, but you got there.

Kristi Tanner (49:01.066)
Right, I had a day one and then I had a day 100 and then I had a day 1000 and now I am five years sober.

Jane (49:16.01)
That gives me the chills. mean, that's just so beautiful. And you are beautiful. I wish that people listening to this could see you. You are. mean, it's just, yeah.

Kristi Tanner (49:25.418)
my gosh, stop.

Kristi Tanner (49:31.75)
It's a miracle. It's a miracle and anyone can do it.

Kristi Tanner (49:45.286)
You should do it not alone.

Kristi Tanner (49:52.502)
I tried so long because I was embarrassed or I didn't want to tell people or, you know, like about I drink too much and whatever. Talk to your friends about your relationship with alcohol. Tell somebody who loves you that you trust that I'm struggling or I'm worried or I'm questioning it or what would you think about if we did seven days alcohol free together? Would you want to do that?

Jane (50:06.164)
Yes.

Jane (50:18.26)
Yeah, alcohol free challenge.

Kristi Tanner (50:22.554)
talk to people. I for sure, without a doubt, was not the only mom in my neighborhood at home struggling with drinking. I'm not, but I'm the only one willing to talk about it. And that sort of, because of my spectacular

Jane (50:35.966)
Absolutely not.

Jane (50:41.877)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (50:50.218)
entrance into sobriety, the whole community knew I had two DUIs. There was no like, there was no hiding my sobriety. Right? There wasn't that option. And so instead, I was like, Dear everyone, hi, my name is Christy. I'm 89 days sober, and I'm an alcoholic. And my new Instagram handle is mocktail mommy.

Jane (50:53.579)
you

Jane (50:56.821)
Yeah.

Jane (51:00.309)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (51:16.738)
And because I had burned every bridge in my real life, I was like, who's going to hold me accountable? AA is shutting down. know, like, it's like all this stuff that it's like, okay, who are my people? So I put it out there and people showed up. These people found me, these sober people, and they're like, me too. I'm like, what?

Jane (51:23.914)
Yeah.

Jane (51:27.689)
Yeah.

Jane (51:44.631)
Like I'm not the only one?

Kristi Tanner (51:46.206)
Wait, but are you a mom? You're a mom aunt? Aunt sober? You're a sober mom? Shut up. Like I'd been in AA and the AA meetings I'd been to, I didn't see a lot of people like me in my stage of life. And it's that Instagram and writing and the sober space and...

Jane (52:01.406)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (52:16.26)
My sort of desire to tell the truth all the time, right? The only thing that keeps me sober is rigorous honesty, which I probably just because I'm me, just like I don't know how to lie anymore. I cannot do it. I won't lie about anything. If I'm happy, you'll know it. If I'm sad, you'll know it. If I'm mad, I'll tell you. Like it's...

Jane (52:28.65)
Yeah.

Jane (52:34.984)
Yeah.

Jane (52:43.53)
Well, you talked about the shame hangovers earlier, like the antidote to shame is openness and embracing your truth and your authentic self. And there's so much freedom in that. And it's a gift to other people, because then they see you and they can see themselves and they feel less alone.

Kristi Tanner (52:52.042)
100 %

Kristi Tanner (53:07.61)
Exactly. It's, you know, I'm like, how do I not be ashamed of my story? I tell it.

I share it. It will be somebody else's. My story of survival will be somebody else's survival guide.

Jane (53:28.31)
Absolutely.

Kristi Tanner (53:30.568)
And I really believe that people have told me in their DMs, but there are so many people who will never say anything. And I know that it's making a difference. I know it.

Jane (53:43.828)
Yes, and people who you don't even know about. And you're planting seeds and you you just never, you never know the impact that you're making, but it matters.

Kristi Tanner (53:47.794)
Of course.

Kristi Tanner (53:51.912)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (53:56.06)
No, and now, right? Fast forward, I opened a non -alcoholic bottle shop in Wisconsin, and I opened it because I want a in -person community of like -minded people who love living and drink fun, cute drinks that just don't have any alcohol.

Jane (54:20.404)
Because they happen to be ethanol free. So tell me about your mocktail shop.

Kristi Tanner (54:24.464)
Right. So

Kristi Tanner (54:30.18)
Yes. So my store is called Sober Social. It is in Madison, Wisconsin. So it's the first non -alcoholic bottle shop in the state. Yes. It's super cool. So we carry all the best brands. I do not carry every brand. I will not. I only want to stock the best tasting.

most well -represented brands on the market. Just because somebody has an NA wine does not mean I'm going to carry it. But

Jane (55:02.9)
Yeah.

Jane (55:07.572)
Yeah, so it's a curated selection of the best NA options.

Kristi Tanner (55:12.368)
the best of the best. So I have non -alcoholic beer, non -alcoholic wine, non -alcoholic champagne, spiritless spirits. I have functional beverages like with Lion's mane and reishi mushrooms. have kava. I have manifestation cards. have cards. have stickers. have glasses. have... It is a boutique.

adorable, very happy, colorful space for people who don't drink or aren't drinking for whatever reason. One of my huge clientele groups that I sort of forgot about was pregnant women. my God, this OB came in and she's like, I need you to make me up a little flyer.

Jane (55:50.922)
Yeah.

Jane (55:57.908)
Yes, they need fun drinks.

Kristi Tanner (56:07.268)
the number one thing my ladies are wanting in the summer is like a mimosa! You know? I'm like, I've got that! I've got all of them! Yes!

Jane (56:13.066)
Yes, of course, yes. And even breastfeeding moms and postpartum moms, like, you know, every stage mom.

Kristi Tanner (56:23.018)
All of them, all the, anyone who doesn't, every stage mom is, any mom who's tired, who's not well rested, you haven't gotten 12 hours of sleep in the last 10 years, this is for you. Yeah, it's, and it's, you know, it's kind of coming full circle. It's like, I was at the bottom of the rung of,

Jane (56:37.712)
Yes, absolutely.

Kristi Tanner (56:52.714)
how deep the depths of addiction will take you, I went those places.

Kristi Tanner (57:04.186)
but I think that that allows me to have this truly unbelievable comeback story and to make an impact because when people come into my store, I'm public about why I own this store. I opened it on my five years sober and I did that.

Jane (57:13.834)
Yes.

Jane (57:29.384)
Wow, what a way to celebrate.

Kristi Tanner (57:32.906)
I didn't even have the idea of a store six months prior. This wasn't some big plan. The universe just put it in my path. And I had space to say yes.

But it's been incredible. It's exhausting. It's been so exciting and scary. But mostly it's allowed me to be myself again. I love talking to people. I love wearing cute clothes. I love going to parties.

Jane (58:00.629)
Yeah.

Jane (58:05.429)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (58:19.9)
And I get to help people do all these things. I people come into my store every day and tell me why they're sober or tell me who they're buying something for and how they're supporting them or telling me, I can't tell you the number of people who I've never met before who walk into my store and say, are you the owner? And I say, yes. And they say, thank you for doing this. Can I please give you a hug?

Jane (58:43.966)
Wow. I mean, it's a community place. It's a community and it's a grassroots movement.

Kristi Tanner (58:46.73)
People think me.

Kristi Tanner (58:53.3)
I'm just like, you're thanking me for shopping at my store? Like, thank you! Like, it's just such a, it's like this really amazing, they're like, I can't believe you're here. And I'm like, I can't believe you came here! And it's

Jane (58:59.54)
Yeah.

Jane (59:07.92)
Yes. Well, I want to come. I need to come to Wisconsin and visit. I've never been.

Kristi Tanner (59:12.772)
Yeah, for sure. yeah, you should come. It's super cute. Don't come in the winter. It's miserable. Don't come the winter. Yeah, but it's you know, I don't know.

Jane (59:18.72)
Yeah, it's cold. Yeah. Okay, next summer.

Jane (59:29.982)
It's like you just never know where life can take you. But I think that moment when you prayed to God, please, I will do anything, you were willing to take a risk and lean into uncertainty and do something that was terrifying. And you had faith that it was gonna lead you somewhere beautiful, and it has.

Kristi Tanner (59:57.673)
Yeah.

Jane (59:58.582)
So if there are listeners out there who are considering changing their relationship with alcohol or maybe they're in the early stages and are struggling, any advice that you learned along the way that you wish you had known in those early stages?

Kristi Tanner (01:00:18.696)
Yeah, I mean, I think the first thing is find somebody to be honest with. And it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be the person you're usually the most honest with. It doesn't have to be your spouse. It doesn't have to be your mom. It doesn't have to be your best friend. But you have to find somebody that can listen.

and hold space for truly where you are without judging it. I think therapy is a good idea. Sober coaches, meetings, go places where other people are considering the same stuff. Listen to sober podcasts. I listened to the bubble hour.

Jane (01:00:56.116)
Yeah.

Jane (01:01:12.029)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (01:01:17.566)
by Gene McFadden for incessantly, it's not even on anymore. I listen to it all day, every day. Anytime my brain was doing a little like mental gymnastics about what could I do and how could I justify it and should I and what I and blah, blah, blah. And like, what even anyone know? Shut it down. Take a vacation from my brain.

Jane (01:01:21.662)
Okay.

Jane (01:01:40.095)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (01:01:46.066)
and listen to somebody who has some really valuable knowledge about this space that I'm working through right now. Let me listen to other people talk about working through it. Quitlet, I read everything. If you're a mom, Laura McCowans, we are the luckiest. Read that. Read that now.

Jane (01:01:50.186)
Yes.

Jane (01:01:55.135)
Yeah.

Jane (01:02:02.762)
but it was helpful, yes.

Jane (01:02:11.252)
Yes.

Jane (01:02:16.038)
I love her book. And push off from here, she has a second one too. I haven't read that one yet, but it's on my list.

Kristi Tanner (01:02:17.976)
She's amazing.

Kristi Tanner (01:02:23.026)
I went to her push -off from here retreat in North Carolina. It was awesome. I'm very into this space. Yeah, I, my gosh, yes. She's incredible. I just like, relate so much to her. I believe that she's able to be authentic in a really, really brave, bold way that a lot of people aren't.

Jane (01:02:27.403)
wow.

Jane (01:02:32.83)
I bet that was an amazing experience.

Jane (01:02:50.165)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (01:02:50.982)
And that's just, I find that probably one of the most admirable things you can do is just be that authentic.

Jane (01:03:03.274)
Yeah, yeah, just radically authentic.

Kristi Tanner (01:03:07.91)
what else? I, my number one tool in sobriety then and now is writing in my journal. I do it almost every day. I've had a journal since I was in fifth grade and I find that I'm able to identify like, it's like my brain works faster.

Jane (01:03:25.333)
Wow.

Kristi Tanner (01:03:36.286)
than my hand, right? So it's like my brain's like over here and like my hands doing something. And then when I go back and read what I've written, many times I'm surprised by what I've said. Right? I'm like, is that what I feel? but it's like, I got to get all the drama out of my head, the confusing part.

Jane (01:03:47.988)
Yeah. You're like, wow, that was good.

Jane (01:03:55.448)
Yeah.

Jane (01:04:03.434)
All the chatter.

Kristi Tanner (01:04:05.01)
Yes, put it on the paper. Take it, you know, like then it's like I can take it off. I'm not going to forget it. It's on the page.

Jane (01:04:06.846)
Yes.

Jane (01:04:13.002)
Yes, you don't have to keep reviewing it or ruminating about it. It's like it's in the journal.

Kristi Tanner (01:04:17.798)
Yeah, so I don't know. mean, follow Instagram accounts of people that you find inspiring. Go to a meeting and look for somebody who has energy that you want to emulate and sit by them. Go sit by people whose words and energy makes you feel good. Be willing to listen.

Jane (01:04:26.666)
Yes.

Jane (01:04:33.789)
I love that. Yeah.

Jane (01:04:43.412)
Yes.

Kristi Tanner (01:04:46.77)
When I first got sober, wanted to do a shit ton of talking. I was like, blah, blah,

Jane (01:04:50.964)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (01:04:56.446)
All these things. Okay, that's great. Please participate in the meeting. It is important. But when you have to just turn your judgment off and just take what works and leave the rest.

Jane (01:05:02.154)
Yeah, yeah, develop your listening skills.

Jane (01:05:13.322)
Mm -hmm.

and just cultivating a stance of openness, of being open to information that maybe at first glance you don't agree with, but just being open to hearing it and trying to understand it. I think that's huge.

Kristi Tanner (01:05:32.573)
100%. And don't have false expectations that three days after you put down your glass of wine, that your life is going to be rosy and you're going to drop 10 pounds and your acne is going to go away and you're going to sleep for 10 hours and that your children are going to be angels because like it doesn't work like that.

Jane (01:05:54.708)
Yeah.

It doesn't work like that, but you have more buffer to put up with those stressors when you don't have alcohol in your system.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:03.836)
Yes. And over time, your entire life will change and it will be better.

Jane (01:06:09.438)
Yes, just give it time. Keep going. And if you mess up, begin again. That's often part of the learning experience is trial and error and experimenting. And if you drink and you mess up, it's okay to just start over.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:13.278)
Give it time.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:17.524)
That's right.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:29.076)
Just don't quit quitting.

Jane (01:06:31.508)
Yes, absolutely.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:33.62)
because you deserve to live a sober life and the world deserves to know exactly who you are.

Jane (01:06:42.312)
Yes, the world deserves to be impacted by the sober version of you.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:46.882)
Mmm.

Jane (01:06:49.716)
You know, we all have so much to give, but I don't think we'll realize that potential with alcohol along for the ride.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:50.009)
that's so good.

Kristi Tanner (01:06:57.086)
Mm

Jane (01:06:59.582)
So Christy, how can people find you if they want to connect with you?

Kristi Tanner (01:07:05.116)
Yeah, so my Instagram is mocktail mommy. I also have sober social shop at gmail .com is my email or that's sober social shop is my Instagram for my business. But I'm an open book, send me a DM, you don't have to, it doesn't have to be anything. It can be anything. I

Jane (01:07:11.08)
Love it.

Jane (01:07:23.828)
the business okay.

Jane (01:07:31.902)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (01:07:34.58)
feel incredibly honored to be looked to as a source of help. And that's wild. That's just wild. And I truly just I get lit up by connecting with people who are doing the work that I have done and continue to do.

Jane (01:07:43.988)
Yeah, you're a leader in this space.

Jane (01:07:52.596)
you

Jane (01:08:03.573)
Yeah.

Kristi Tanner (01:08:04.134)
So, Jane, just like thank you so much for giving me this opportunity. I'm so glad you reached out.

Jane (01:08:10.487)
Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your beautiful story.

Kristi Tanner (01:08:17.384)
You're so welcome.